Can the Mediator Interview our Children to Find out What They Want? Can the Children Attend Mediation?

At Bluewater, usually children are not brought into the mediation process, at least not directly, whether through an interview or having them attend the mediation itself. This is to make sure they are not caught in the middle of their parents and are shielded from conflict between their parents. More than anything at separation, kids need to be shielded from parental conflict.
Where children are older and there is a shared commitment to hearing their views, the mediator will talk with parents about different ways to get the children’s views at the table without putting them in the middle or having them “choose” between their parents.
If there is already a counsellor or therapist working with the children, bringing that person in (only if both parents agree) is often a good way to hear indirectly from the children. Another approach is to have the children meet with an agreed-upon social worker who can then attend the mediation on the children’s behalf.
Each case is unique and so are the children. Bluewater will work with you and your former spouse to help determine the best way to have the children’s views at the table if you both want that. The focus will always be on protecting children from conflict while respecting their views.